How Do You Not Stress Out?

I'm tired.  I feel like all my blogs start off like this, but this time, I really am tired.  It's the last weekend before school ends which means, yes.....it means I have 6 exams this week.  One on every day of the week, and that includes Saturday.  So yes, I am tired.  Not only do I have 6 exams, I also have 2 assignments due and 1 presentation due.  So yes, I am tired.  I am spent, and I want to cry in a corner.

Not only do I have school, but I also have work, and flyer uploads and merchants and final QCing, and Job posting, all of which take up at least 2 hours a day of my time.  And yes, none of you know what flyer uploads, merchants and final QCing is and how tiring it is, but believe me it's tiring.  I also have OSing and emailing and it's just a lot of work.

Not only do I have school and work, but I also have kids.  Mateo is in his clingy phase, and by clingy I mean that I have to carry him ALL THE TIME or he will cry until your ears fall off.  It is driving me insane because I can't get anything done with a crying baby.  Josiah is in the phase where he doesn't want to do anything that I explicitly tell him to do BUT if I find a way to tell him to do something and make him think that it was his idea in the first place then he will do it.  Which takes a lot of thinking in a part of my brain that I don't really have space for.  So yes, I am tired.

Not only do I have school and work, and not only I am a mom, but I am a wife.  As a wife, it is my responsibility to take care of my husband and make sure that there is food on the table when he gets home from a hard day at work.  I have to make sure that I pay attention to him when he talks, and I have to cater to his needs and his wants and make sure that he is happy and content.  Not that this part of my life is a burden, it really isn't, and my husband helps me too, but sometimes it's hard for husbands to understand how much is going on in their wives' life and all the wives in this world can attest to what I am saying.

So right now, I feel like there is a huge world of pressure on my back.  I can't fail school, I can't fail work, I can't fail my kids, and most importantly I can't fail my husband.  It is a lot of pressure and I am tired.  I have never EVER been so tired in my life.  My body is tired, my mind is tired, I am soooo tired that I can't even sleep.  That's how busy my brain is.  I really don't think that anyone can understand how tired I am or how much I am going through right now, and I can't really talk about it to anyone because then I would be selfish venting about my life and stresses and I would be a failure because I can't handle everything.  I end up just clenching my teeth half the day, which is really bad for them.  But I clench my teeth when I feel like screaming or throwing a tantrum, but I can't.  Because what mom throws tantrums right?

This blog is more like a vent.  A very unfruitful vent.  Usually my vents end up being a life learned lesson, this one isn't really a life lesson, it's just a vent of how tired I am and how no one will really understand me and how I am so mega tired that I just want to crawl in a hole, plug my ears and hum lullabies to myself.