Love changes. It goes through cycles. For those of us who are married understand what I'm talking about. There's the love we feel when we first meet someone. It's the initial attraction, the whole wooing process. That's the lovey dovey cheese balls kind of love.
Then, post wooing there's the dating love. Where you learn about each others likes and dislikes and realize that you either have almost nothing in common or everything in common. This is where the real love starts to grow because you learn more about a person.
Then post dating love, there's that point in the relationship where you get comfortable. You slowly learn that you can't stop thinking about this person. You can't breathe without them. You just want to be near them all the time.
Then, you spend too much time together and you begin to get annoyed with all the little things he does and you start to wonder is he the right guy? Then you start to compare yourself to other couples who are still in the wooing phase and you're wondering why he doesn't do that anymore. You realize you want more. This is where the relationship starts to get all rocky. You start fighting without telling him the real reason why you're mad. You start bickering about little things without arguing about te actual problem. This is what I like to call te fighting phase. You start to learn more about your partner in this phase. You learn how strong your love is for this person. You start to learn how to fight, how to endure the pain. You learn how much you really love each other because you get through this phase. Some couples don't. Some fail to see the bigger picture. Some don't learn what the real issues are. And some couples don't bother to communicate properly. This is a test of your love for each other. If you surpass this phase then good job. Your love for him will change.
Post fighting phase comes the awesome settling phase. You know each other. You know how to fight, you know that you love each other. You know now that this is the guy for you because he stayed with you throughout the whole emotional trauma and emo diva days. You know you want to be with him for the rest of your life. Finally, after a gazillion years of dating, he proposes. You say I do. You plan the wedding with a lot of fights about money and how to spend it and what to waste it on. But these fights are loving fights because you are planning your future together.
Then, post wedding. The cycle begins all over again. Believe it or not. You experience first year marriage bliss. Like the wooing then there's the dating then the obsession where you want to be with him all the time. Then the fighting and then the calm after the storm. This cycle happens over and over again. The problem is, how much do you love this person? Do you love them enough to appreciate the cycles and stay and learn about each other and grow with each other? Or do you not even love them enough to stay.
Love. It's a funny word. Everybody can say it. But who actually means it?
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