Life is Never too Hard

Well, this week I started my new job.  It's AMAZING!!! I really like it.  Everyone is about my age and friendly.  They have lunch every Friday and it's a wonderful work environment.  I am hoping to do well and be able to keep this job for a while. 

Unfortunately, I just realized that EI deducts dollar for dollar if I earn more than 25% of my mat leave earnings, which is $124.  So there's basically no reason for me working. Woo.  I also just called the Region of Peel and asked for the status of my subsidy and when I would be getting it.  She said probably 2013, the waiting list is just growing and there is no funding and hasn't been funding since August 2010.  So, they're at a stand still.  That also sucks for me because I can't afford childcare and I'm going to school in January.

Right now I feel like I'm walking around with a blindfold over my eyes.  We have no plan, no money and just, nothing to work with.  Joel and I have to make decisions based on what's best for our children, but we can't make decisions because we don't know how we're going to go on.  We're working with nothing right now, as in no money.  Even if I were to work full time I would still have to find a daycare for both children.  If I went to school and worked part time, I would still have to find a daycare for both children.  No matter what, we need someone to watch the kids starting January.

So, Joel and I are going to continue doing what we've been doing.  Have faith that God will take care of us and that He will give us some sort of direction in what we're supposed to do and where the kids are going to go.  Something will come up.  It's just hard to walk around blindly not knowing what's going to happen in the next few months.  I like a plan.  I like to know and when I know I feel safe that I know what's going to happen.  I feel like God is training me to trust in Him more and to rely on Him to make decisions for us.  It's hard, but life is never too hard because God doesn't put us through what we can't handle.  So I'm going to try and calm my nerves and stress and trust that God knows what will happen and where my family will go from here.  To truly put all of our lives in His hands is what we need to learn, and in a crazy sort of way I'm glad that we're going through this because at least we are reminded of who really is in control of our lives.