It's been a while since I've blogged. It's been awhile since I've had my own thoughts. I think that over the past year of not blogging my brain has filled up with random thoughts that people following me on twitter are sick of me clogging their newsfeed. Henceforth, I have decided to brain splart all over my blog.
Why has it been awhile? 1 kid is tough, 2 kids is toughest. The transition from one to two kids brings A LOT of responsibility, takes up double the amount of time, it is very tiring and stressful and just wears me down. I am so tired. I have not done anything for myself in a while. With just Josiah, it was easier because I would only have to keep an eye on one child and when Josiah was napping I would have my own time to do what I want. But with two, they don't nap at the same time and sometimes they both always want my attention and that's hard. Yes, I have two eyes, but I'm not a bird or lizard, I can only look in one direction.
It's weird because after I had Mateo (my second boy) it's like my "mommy instincts" doubled. Even though I'm watching one, I know what Josiah is doing even when he's not in the room. I have been blessed with an independent first born. Josiah likes to play by himself, and I'm glad, because I can focus on Mateo. Unfortunately, Josiah is in his terrible twos, and it really is terrible. This stage wears you down like crazy. It's super hard, his tantrums. If you think it's bad when they're 1, just wait until they turn 2. Now with 1 child at 2 years old and a newborn, I don't know what I was thinking. Life is hard. Don't think you can handle it without the grace of God because without God, I wouldn't survive each day. There are days when I am so overwhelmed I just want to cry and cry. And it won't get any better. When Joba is 3 apparently it gets worse, and just wait until he can really talk back. Oh man. Kids, there really isn't a return policy or refund.
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