I was just thinking about this in the middle of the night while Mateo was throwing one of his random dream tantrums.
You can't really say anything unless you know what the meaning is. For example, you can't say "I ate bread today" and not know what bread actually is. You can't really invent the meaning either because most people know what bread is. So if you say "I ate bread" and your meaning of bread is tomatoes no one will understand when you say "I ate bread" as "I ate tomatoes" because everybody knows bread as bread and not tomatoes, except for you. Make sense? Yes, right!!!
So how can people say "I love you" to someone and not really know the true meaning of love. They're probably really saying "I think you're pretty cool" or "my tummy gets mushy when I see you, but it could be diarrhea." Do you really KNOW the meaning of love? Or is it like bread and tomatoes being the same thing. I think that a lot of people retard the meaning of love just like my bread and tomatoes analogy. A lot of people don't know Jesus, or how much He loves us and the sacrifices that God made for us. God IS Love, so if they don't know Him, then how can they say "I love you" to their "loved" ones.
Eh? Eh???? Think about it.
Even I don't fully understand God's love for me. It's too much for my tiny little brain. His love for us is infinitely massive. I guess I can say that I adore my children and greatly enjoy the company of my husband..........most of the time.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Oh it's so comfortable
My brain is turned off during the day. It feels like when I'm with my kids, watching them play, feeding them food, my brain is turned off with the only focus being them. When I finally get time to myself, which is in the shower or during mid-pee, I have random splurges of feeling blessed and feeling thankful that I am where I am in my life. Then, last night, in the shower of course (where my brain works) I started to get angry with myself because I was so comfortable in my life. Reading my sister and her husband's blogs about being missionaries in another world, forced me to think about how comfortable I am. I don't think that's fair to God, me being comfortable. I want to be able to not be comfortable, to step out on a limb and take risks for my faith. Instead I sit in the shower (not literally sit, maybe just lean against the wall) and feel comfortable with my hot water and such.
Then, I think of how big of a change my husband and I just made. We grew up in a church most of our lives. Made friends, good friends, and then after, for me, 24 years of going to that church, we got up and decided that we were needed elsewhere. It wasn't an instant decision. It took over a year of prayer, of waiting, of discussing and then finally we knew that it was time. No, we didn't fly to another country or anything like that, we simply drove in the opposite direction towards the church that we thought could use our talents most for. I didn't want to "bury my talents" like in the parable Jesus told, I wanted to use them for the Lord. And burying them we were. Now I finally feel like I'm doing something good in my life. I finally feel like the Lord is proud of me and my works.
It's hard. Leaving your comfort zone, leaving the circle of friends you have. It took us over a year to just be able to say goodbye in our minds. Slowly, one by one, we had to say goodbye in our hearts to those we loved and cherished, and watched grow. But we knew that all of them were in the hands of the Lord, so who were we to worry? We knew they would be fine and that we were needed elsewhere. It took a huge push from the Lord but that push was what we needed to finally do what he wanted us to do.
Now we are slowly meeting new friends and it's a great feeling. It really is. Step out of your comfort zone for the Lord. It's hard, it really is, but no one said life was easy. It's not supposed to be easy. Sacrifice your comfort for God. After all, He did sacrificed his only Son for you.
Then, I think of how big of a change my husband and I just made. We grew up in a church most of our lives. Made friends, good friends, and then after, for me, 24 years of going to that church, we got up and decided that we were needed elsewhere. It wasn't an instant decision. It took over a year of prayer, of waiting, of discussing and then finally we knew that it was time. No, we didn't fly to another country or anything like that, we simply drove in the opposite direction towards the church that we thought could use our talents most for. I didn't want to "bury my talents" like in the parable Jesus told, I wanted to use them for the Lord. And burying them we were. Now I finally feel like I'm doing something good in my life. I finally feel like the Lord is proud of me and my works.
It's hard. Leaving your comfort zone, leaving the circle of friends you have. It took us over a year to just be able to say goodbye in our minds. Slowly, one by one, we had to say goodbye in our hearts to those we loved and cherished, and watched grow. But we knew that all of them were in the hands of the Lord, so who were we to worry? We knew they would be fine and that we were needed elsewhere. It took a huge push from the Lord but that push was what we needed to finally do what he wanted us to do.
Now we are slowly meeting new friends and it's a great feeling. It really is. Step out of your comfort zone for the Lord. It's hard, it really is, but no one said life was easy. It's not supposed to be easy. Sacrifice your comfort for God. After all, He did sacrificed his only Son for you.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
@what_mom_says
I always come up with the best ideas in the shower. It is my life's ambition to write a book about teenage mothers and their difficulties. I want to interview a whole bunch of young mother's and just get a whole bunch of random quotes and put it together and make it a book. That is what I want to do, and I think I will do that sometime before I die. As of right now, I'm pretty busy making up a whole bunch of funny motherly quotes in my head, most of them created while in the shower.
Being in the shower is my only alone time. Or so I thought, until I see a tiny hand splashing the water from underneath the shower curtains.
Motherhood means no alone time. No rest. The college administration workers are on strike. I wish I could go on strike.
Motherhood is life. It means loving and caring for someone for their entire lifetime. On Facebook I see all my friends and their good jobs and career accomplishments. My highest level of academic achievement is my high school diploma.
Motherhood is beyond hard. It is tiring, and makes you age faster than fake tanning. Yesterday I graduated from high school. Today I have 2 kids and am worrying about what to make for dinner.
Lady Gaga calls her fans "little monsters." I call my kids little monsters. Not because they are my fans. But because they really are little monsters.
For more quirky or not so quirky quotes follow me on twitter @what_mom_says.
Anyway, back to normal bloggage.
I finally have time to write in this blog area thing. I've always wanted to write a blog about babies and how wonderful of a time I am having being a mother. I'm having such a wonderful time, that I don't actually have time to write in this blog of mine. Well, what can I say? Motherhood is busy. Too busy. I need some breathing room a whole lot of the time. It's hard to do anything for myself. Make a phone call, read a chapter in a book, or even watch my own TV show. My first son is 2 and a half and I'm attempting potty training, and my second son is 7 months, teething and is being super clingy and cranky because of it. Life is hard, and expensive.
It sucks. Having no money. I have to go back to work early, part time because we can't really afford stuff. Summer was expensive. I know winter won't be as expensive because no one likes the cold. Mateo is eating Josiah's backpack. I'm watching. Great motherhood right here. *high five*
I'm so cranky and tired most of the day. Joel's lucky he's at work, on his days off I really put him to work. I make him change the diapers, and feed the kids. Sometimes I think I'm a little spoiled, then I remind myself how great I am and that I deserve it. -_-
I think my kids are the cutest. But then I am a little biased. They are cute though. Like, super cute. Sometimes I squeeze Mateo so much he cries, or pukes a bit.
I'm thirsty. That's the end of this blog. Till next time.
-crazy mom
Being in the shower is my only alone time. Or so I thought, until I see a tiny hand splashing the water from underneath the shower curtains.
Motherhood means no alone time. No rest. The college administration workers are on strike. I wish I could go on strike.
Motherhood is life. It means loving and caring for someone for their entire lifetime. On Facebook I see all my friends and their good jobs and career accomplishments. My highest level of academic achievement is my high school diploma.
Motherhood is beyond hard. It is tiring, and makes you age faster than fake tanning. Yesterday I graduated from high school. Today I have 2 kids and am worrying about what to make for dinner.
Lady Gaga calls her fans "little monsters." I call my kids little monsters. Not because they are my fans. But because they really are little monsters.
For more quirky or not so quirky quotes follow me on twitter @what_mom_says.
Anyway, back to normal bloggage.
I finally have time to write in this blog area thing. I've always wanted to write a blog about babies and how wonderful of a time I am having being a mother. I'm having such a wonderful time, that I don't actually have time to write in this blog of mine. Well, what can I say? Motherhood is busy. Too busy. I need some breathing room a whole lot of the time. It's hard to do anything for myself. Make a phone call, read a chapter in a book, or even watch my own TV show. My first son is 2 and a half and I'm attempting potty training, and my second son is 7 months, teething and is being super clingy and cranky because of it. Life is hard, and expensive.
It sucks. Having no money. I have to go back to work early, part time because we can't really afford stuff. Summer was expensive. I know winter won't be as expensive because no one likes the cold. Mateo is eating Josiah's backpack. I'm watching. Great motherhood right here. *high five*
I'm so cranky and tired most of the day. Joel's lucky he's at work, on his days off I really put him to work. I make him change the diapers, and feed the kids. Sometimes I think I'm a little spoiled, then I remind myself how great I am and that I deserve it. -_-
I think my kids are the cutest. But then I am a little biased. They are cute though. Like, super cute. Sometimes I squeeze Mateo so much he cries, or pukes a bit.
I'm thirsty. That's the end of this blog. Till next time.
-crazy mom
Sunday, July 31, 2011
.................
Death. It's always on my mind, I don't know why. I think we're just a tragic family. My sister told me she was going to die in a car crash when she was 18, or she told me something along those lines. She said she was going to die young, I don't know why she told me that, but she did. She's turning 28 now, and basically has two kids. That means she's already old, so her prediction was false, thankfully. Everyday I plan my funeral. Who I want to sing, what song I want in the slideshow. I always tell Joel, "I want you to sing this at my funeral." I have said that to him about a lot of songs though, at this rate, my funeral will be a concert of Joel and Paula (his guitar). Death is all around. We all think about it: how it will happen, when it will happen; but none of us really know the where or when, we only know that it is inevitable.
This week has been a painful week for my family. My Lola Annie died a couple of days ago and it extremely saddens me. I never really got to meet her. I don't remember much about her. I wanted to go to the Philippines at least once and see her and introduce myself as her granddaughter. I never really got that chance. Even though I never really knew her, I know that she must have been an amazing Lola to everyone in my family. She must have been an amazing mother to be able to raise my daddy the way she did. My dad is amazing and therefore, she herself, must have been amazing. Even though most of the Tunay clan is in the Philippines I can still feel their pain and sorrow and sadness. That's the thing about families. No matter how much distance is between us, I can still feel the pain that they must be going through. It's kind of like a big storm in the middle of the ocean and how the waves from the storm ripple towards the shore. That made more sense in my head. But I do send all of my deepest condolences from Canada. I wish, I wish I went back to the Philippines earlier so that I could have met this wonderful woman. From the videos I have seen, she was a very lively, jolly, and happy woman. She was surrounded by many people, mostly family, who love her very deeply. I wish that I could be there to support my family during their time of need. I hope that they do know that I am thinking of them and am constantly praying for their strength as individuals and as a family during these hard times.
Every day is a struggle, but I keep reminding myself that I won't be here forever so live each day as if it were your last. That's a typical line isn't it. I like to think of death as God calling his angels home. Life on earth will end, be excited for what comes after. Every day is a blessing. Live it and love it.
This week has been a painful week for my family. My Lola Annie died a couple of days ago and it extremely saddens me. I never really got to meet her. I don't remember much about her. I wanted to go to the Philippines at least once and see her and introduce myself as her granddaughter. I never really got that chance. Even though I never really knew her, I know that she must have been an amazing Lola to everyone in my family. She must have been an amazing mother to be able to raise my daddy the way she did. My dad is amazing and therefore, she herself, must have been amazing. Even though most of the Tunay clan is in the Philippines I can still feel their pain and sorrow and sadness. That's the thing about families. No matter how much distance is between us, I can still feel the pain that they must be going through. It's kind of like a big storm in the middle of the ocean and how the waves from the storm ripple towards the shore. That made more sense in my head. But I do send all of my deepest condolences from Canada. I wish, I wish I went back to the Philippines earlier so that I could have met this wonderful woman. From the videos I have seen, she was a very lively, jolly, and happy woman. She was surrounded by many people, mostly family, who love her very deeply. I wish that I could be there to support my family during their time of need. I hope that they do know that I am thinking of them and am constantly praying for their strength as individuals and as a family during these hard times.
Every day is a struggle, but I keep reminding myself that I won't be here forever so live each day as if it were your last. That's a typical line isn't it. I like to think of death as God calling his angels home. Life on earth will end, be excited for what comes after. Every day is a blessing. Live it and love it.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Life As We Know It.
Well, I think it's safe to say that life for Joel and I has drastically changed. We are no longer single, and we no longer can think for ourselves. Whenever we have to make plans, we actually have to plan for the kids. We have to plan around their nap times or their bed times. Life isn't about us anymore, it is about them.
In church on Sunday, the speaker was speaking about mothers and how they cannot be selfish. Motherhood is about sacrifice, and not just motherhood, but parenting and having kids is about losing yourself in them. As parents we have to sacrifice the lives that we have and make every decision based on what would be good for the kids.
For Joel and I, I think that this was a hard process to understand. Not being selfish, but being selfless. When we had Josiah, it was easy, because he was a newborn. He would sleep all the time, had no schedule. He would eat when he was hungry and go to bed when he was sleepy. All we had to do was take all the bottles and food with us, and we were like his home on wheels (or feet rather). So, life, in that sense, hadn't changed much. We were still able to go out, eat out, hang out, whenever and wherever we wanted. We were the same Joel and Mari, but with a little munchkin.
As Josiah gets older, we slowly have to learn how to sacrifice for him. As much as we want to go out, we have to see what will be easy for him. If we go out too late, he will be cranky and tantrum and cause a whole scene in the restaurant, at someone's house, just everywhere. If he doesn't have his nap, he will be tantrummy, if he doesn't eat on time, tantrum. We have to make sure that he is always on schedule, because if he isn't then he will be so cranky. So now, every time we go out, we have to go out according to Josiah's schedule or mayhem breaks loose.
So when everyone is at the park playing on a nice and sunny day, or staying out late at a friend's house, we have to be home by 8:00 so that Josiah can eat dinner and go to bed on time. In the afternoon's we have to go home by 1:00 or 2:00pm because that's Josiah's nap time and if he doesn't get that then he will be cranky.
Parenting is about sacrifice. You have to change your perspective on life. It's no longer about you, it's about your children. On Supernanny, she said that children rely on a schedule because if there is no schedule then there is no control. She was right. If we are off schedule with Josiah, then he is out of control. What I care most about in life, is that my children are okay, that they are in control and that they are happy.
Josiah hates crowds. He hates when people crowd around him. He hates the mall, he hates when he is out of his comfort zone. So, me and Joel can't be in big crowds and we can't go to the mall when it's busy. Eventually he will grow out of it, but why torture him with the things that he fears.
Josiah is an amazing kid. He has experienced a lot of things in life that many have not experienced. Everyday he wakes up happy and smiling. When he goes to bed he tells us that he loves us and says good night. There is never any whining or crying. We tell him to do something and he will do it. There are the occasional tantrums and such, but all in all, he is happy. He plays, he smiles, he loves and he cares for everyone around him. And he's only 2. He has changed my life so much.
Because of him, I don't care what anyone thinks of me or my family. As long as I know that God loves me and that my family is happy, then I am fine. Joel and I sacrifice for our children every day. We sacrifice going out to the movies, or going out for dinner. We sacrifice a lot of fellowships and hanging out with the youth. We can't be that Joel and Mari anymore who can just hang out with our friends. We are parents. We are on a new journey in our lives and we have moved on.
We married young, and had a child at a very young age, but that's what happens when you make decisions. You sacrifice your childhood or your own young adulthood for your own children. I feel like I'm 35 years old and I'm only 24. Having children is hard. Having kids is hard. If you're not willing to give up your life for someone, then you're not ready to have a child.
I admit. I miss when I could go watch movies, or just make random decisions to go to the park. Or I miss when me and Joel could hang out, just the two of us. But doing stuff like that is nearly impossible. I am not just me. I am Mari, Joel, Josiah and Mateo. Every decision I make affects all 3 of them.
Being selfless. It's what a family is and what a family is about. Being Selfless. Sacrifice. Love.
I am not who I was and I don't want to go back. I am a mother. I am a wife. I like who I am, and if that means losing things and people that I once had in my life, then I am fine with that. God called me to be who I am now. My ministry is my children. I love them because Christ loved me, and I will teach them to love Christ because that, as a mother, is my duty. Nothing else in this world matters to me than to have my children know and love the Jesus Christ that I know and love. That is my calling. This is what God wants for me.
This is life as I know it. My family. Nothing else matters.
In church on Sunday, the speaker was speaking about mothers and how they cannot be selfish. Motherhood is about sacrifice, and not just motherhood, but parenting and having kids is about losing yourself in them. As parents we have to sacrifice the lives that we have and make every decision based on what would be good for the kids.
For Joel and I, I think that this was a hard process to understand. Not being selfish, but being selfless. When we had Josiah, it was easy, because he was a newborn. He would sleep all the time, had no schedule. He would eat when he was hungry and go to bed when he was sleepy. All we had to do was take all the bottles and food with us, and we were like his home on wheels (or feet rather). So, life, in that sense, hadn't changed much. We were still able to go out, eat out, hang out, whenever and wherever we wanted. We were the same Joel and Mari, but with a little munchkin.
As Josiah gets older, we slowly have to learn how to sacrifice for him. As much as we want to go out, we have to see what will be easy for him. If we go out too late, he will be cranky and tantrum and cause a whole scene in the restaurant, at someone's house, just everywhere. If he doesn't have his nap, he will be tantrummy, if he doesn't eat on time, tantrum. We have to make sure that he is always on schedule, because if he isn't then he will be so cranky. So now, every time we go out, we have to go out according to Josiah's schedule or mayhem breaks loose.
So when everyone is at the park playing on a nice and sunny day, or staying out late at a friend's house, we have to be home by 8:00 so that Josiah can eat dinner and go to bed on time. In the afternoon's we have to go home by 1:00 or 2:00pm because that's Josiah's nap time and if he doesn't get that then he will be cranky.
Parenting is about sacrifice. You have to change your perspective on life. It's no longer about you, it's about your children. On Supernanny, she said that children rely on a schedule because if there is no schedule then there is no control. She was right. If we are off schedule with Josiah, then he is out of control. What I care most about in life, is that my children are okay, that they are in control and that they are happy.
Josiah hates crowds. He hates when people crowd around him. He hates the mall, he hates when he is out of his comfort zone. So, me and Joel can't be in big crowds and we can't go to the mall when it's busy. Eventually he will grow out of it, but why torture him with the things that he fears.
Josiah is an amazing kid. He has experienced a lot of things in life that many have not experienced. Everyday he wakes up happy and smiling. When he goes to bed he tells us that he loves us and says good night. There is never any whining or crying. We tell him to do something and he will do it. There are the occasional tantrums and such, but all in all, he is happy. He plays, he smiles, he loves and he cares for everyone around him. And he's only 2. He has changed my life so much.
Because of him, I don't care what anyone thinks of me or my family. As long as I know that God loves me and that my family is happy, then I am fine. Joel and I sacrifice for our children every day. We sacrifice going out to the movies, or going out for dinner. We sacrifice a lot of fellowships and hanging out with the youth. We can't be that Joel and Mari anymore who can just hang out with our friends. We are parents. We are on a new journey in our lives and we have moved on.
We married young, and had a child at a very young age, but that's what happens when you make decisions. You sacrifice your childhood or your own young adulthood for your own children. I feel like I'm 35 years old and I'm only 24. Having children is hard. Having kids is hard. If you're not willing to give up your life for someone, then you're not ready to have a child.
I admit. I miss when I could go watch movies, or just make random decisions to go to the park. Or I miss when me and Joel could hang out, just the two of us. But doing stuff like that is nearly impossible. I am not just me. I am Mari, Joel, Josiah and Mateo. Every decision I make affects all 3 of them.
Being selfless. It's what a family is and what a family is about. Being Selfless. Sacrifice. Love.
I am not who I was and I don't want to go back. I am a mother. I am a wife. I like who I am, and if that means losing things and people that I once had in my life, then I am fine with that. God called me to be who I am now. My ministry is my children. I love them because Christ loved me, and I will teach them to love Christ because that, as a mother, is my duty. Nothing else in this world matters to me than to have my children know and love the Jesus Christ that I know and love. That is my calling. This is what God wants for me.
This is life as I know it. My family. Nothing else matters.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Wait! Just Wait....
I feel like God has been constantly telling me something all weekend. He keeps telling me to wait. For what? I know not. But I have to wait.
Yesterday my family (husband and kids) went for a walk in the park. It was a loooonnggg walk. It was a sort of one way walk. We were wondering as we were walking how far we could go, I had to remind him that we still had to walk back, so as far as we walk straight, double that, because we'd have to turn around and walk back to the car, make sense? Anyway, for those Mississaugans, we walked from Burnhamthorpe to Dundas, and then had to go back. On the way back Josiah woke up from his nap and constantly wanted uppy or would run and stop and look at rocks and want to play in the mud or play on the slant that the bridge has. He would run up and down and up and down the bridge. Bikers would go around him, people would smile at him, he was having fun. Me and Joel were not. We were tired, we just wanted to go to the car. I kept reminding Joel that we went to the park for Josiah anyway so he could have some fresh air, but after 30 minutes of standing by the bridge waiting for Josiah to tire out, we picked him up and left. On our way back Josiah had at least 5 tantrums and Joel had to carry him over half the way back to the car. It was tiring, it was stressful and it was tiring.
We were 2 minutes away from the car, and when you see your destination you have this sudden spurt of energy to just go go go. I wasn't that tired, but I wasn't the one carrying Josiah. Joel, on the other had, said his legs were burning and he just wanted to sit. We reached a huge puddle in the middle of the pathway, but there were also two little paths on either side that led around the puddle. As we were approaching it, there were two other ladies crossing on one side (a smooth, wide, and flat path) and I saw that the path on the other side was all bumpy with tree roots, was more narrow and was on a slight incline. I was pushing Mateo in the stroller and Josiah's stroller was also attached to Mateo's, so me, being a little more patient and a lot less tired than Joel, decided to wait for the two ladies to pass on the other side, instead of going over all the bumpy tree roots and falling in the puddle. Joel, unfortunately, is much less patient, and was more tired than me, he decided to pull the stroller through the bumpiness of the tree roots.
It was what I would say an epic fail. The whole time I was screaming "Wait! Just Wait!" and he was pulling me and the strollers through the inclined and bumpy and much more narrower path. What else would happen.......I tripped on a tree root, my foot slid in the mud and the strollers upturned. If Mateo wasn't buckled in, he would have face planted. My children, they sleep like logs. We put the stroller back upright, and Mateo went back to sleep (what a guy). Anyway, I wasn't mad at all. I knew Joel was tired and just wanted to go back to the car, but during that whole trek through the narrow and bumpy path I was screaming "Wait, wait, wait!" but he wasn't listening and was determined to go forward. Had we waited 5 more seconds, I could have went on the smooth path that the ladies were walking on and we would have gotten across the puddle much faster than rushing through the other bumpy way. I know Joel felt bad for literally dragging me through the mud (and I have a boo boo on my finger) and I'm pretty sure he learned his lesson (when I say wait, he should WAIT). And surprisingly, I wasn't mad at all. The important thing was that the kids were both fine and at the end of the day, that's what really matters (in my mind).
What did I learn? I learned that sometimes, it is better to wait. Actually, a lot of the time it is better to wait. There were two paths, one wide, one narrow. one bumpy, one smooth. One was on a bit of a slant and the other was flat. Sometimes we are in such a rush that we don't bother to see both paths, we take the first convenient path in life and we fall. This is a lesson that I constantly learn and constantly have to teach my children and husband. Good things come to those who wait.
Josiah, who is now in his terrible twos, has inherited his dad's patience, or lack of. When he's hungry he'll say "banana" or "apple" and both need to be peeled or cut. So when he asks for it, I get it and I start to cut or peel it. Josiah can't wait for that. He decides to go on the floor, scream and cry and kick, and then go in time out for 10 minutes until he stops crying, and then he will get the food. Essentially, if he just waited 2 minutes, he would get what he asked for, but instead he chooses to wait 15. He saw the food, he wanted it. How is he going to eat an unpeeled banana? Even gorillas peel their bananas!
We don't get everything we want right away, and that's what most of the world needs to learn. Impatient people who don't have money, rob the bank, or go into debt maxing out credit cards. Why go broke when you could just wait, earn the money, save the money and then go buy what you need. Life is a waiting game and a lot of people lose.
A plant takes time to grow, babies take time to grow. Why are we fast forwarding life? Enjoy the now, and trust God with the future. Wait for God to make His plans for you. Wait for Him to show you what He wants you to do in life. Don't rush anything.
I was looking up verses on "waiting" in the Bible and I came across this Bible Study about patience and waiting.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/biblestudies/articles/theology/081112.html?start=1
It's called "The Secret of Waiting" and it gives reasons on why we should wait and how we should wait on God.
"Waiting on God may be the most difficult of all the spiritual disciplines, and perhaps that's the reason so few truly practice it. Just sitting in his presence and gazing … it can be agonizing to us who have become accustomed to being bombarded with data and stimuli. We lack the attention span to wait on God. But he knows that, so in his kindness he designs scenarios that will help us learn how to wait on him. Once we press through and cross the boredom threshold, we open to the joys and adventures of waiting on God."
I think that this is difficult for today's generation because of all the technology around us. It is agonizing to wait, for anything! I pray, that for myself and my family, we all learn the power or patience in all things we do.
Yesterday my family (husband and kids) went for a walk in the park. It was a loooonnggg walk. It was a sort of one way walk. We were wondering as we were walking how far we could go, I had to remind him that we still had to walk back, so as far as we walk straight, double that, because we'd have to turn around and walk back to the car, make sense? Anyway, for those Mississaugans, we walked from Burnhamthorpe to Dundas, and then had to go back. On the way back Josiah woke up from his nap and constantly wanted uppy or would run and stop and look at rocks and want to play in the mud or play on the slant that the bridge has. He would run up and down and up and down the bridge. Bikers would go around him, people would smile at him, he was having fun. Me and Joel were not. We were tired, we just wanted to go to the car. I kept reminding Joel that we went to the park for Josiah anyway so he could have some fresh air, but after 30 minutes of standing by the bridge waiting for Josiah to tire out, we picked him up and left. On our way back Josiah had at least 5 tantrums and Joel had to carry him over half the way back to the car. It was tiring, it was stressful and it was tiring.
We were 2 minutes away from the car, and when you see your destination you have this sudden spurt of energy to just go go go. I wasn't that tired, but I wasn't the one carrying Josiah. Joel, on the other had, said his legs were burning and he just wanted to sit. We reached a huge puddle in the middle of the pathway, but there were also two little paths on either side that led around the puddle. As we were approaching it, there were two other ladies crossing on one side (a smooth, wide, and flat path) and I saw that the path on the other side was all bumpy with tree roots, was more narrow and was on a slight incline. I was pushing Mateo in the stroller and Josiah's stroller was also attached to Mateo's, so me, being a little more patient and a lot less tired than Joel, decided to wait for the two ladies to pass on the other side, instead of going over all the bumpy tree roots and falling in the puddle. Joel, unfortunately, is much less patient, and was more tired than me, he decided to pull the stroller through the bumpiness of the tree roots.
It was what I would say an epic fail. The whole time I was screaming "Wait! Just Wait!" and he was pulling me and the strollers through the inclined and bumpy and much more narrower path. What else would happen.......I tripped on a tree root, my foot slid in the mud and the strollers upturned. If Mateo wasn't buckled in, he would have face planted. My children, they sleep like logs. We put the stroller back upright, and Mateo went back to sleep (what a guy). Anyway, I wasn't mad at all. I knew Joel was tired and just wanted to go back to the car, but during that whole trek through the narrow and bumpy path I was screaming "Wait, wait, wait!" but he wasn't listening and was determined to go forward. Had we waited 5 more seconds, I could have went on the smooth path that the ladies were walking on and we would have gotten across the puddle much faster than rushing through the other bumpy way. I know Joel felt bad for literally dragging me through the mud (and I have a boo boo on my finger) and I'm pretty sure he learned his lesson (when I say wait, he should WAIT). And surprisingly, I wasn't mad at all. The important thing was that the kids were both fine and at the end of the day, that's what really matters (in my mind).
What did I learn? I learned that sometimes, it is better to wait. Actually, a lot of the time it is better to wait. There were two paths, one wide, one narrow. one bumpy, one smooth. One was on a bit of a slant and the other was flat. Sometimes we are in such a rush that we don't bother to see both paths, we take the first convenient path in life and we fall. This is a lesson that I constantly learn and constantly have to teach my children and husband. Good things come to those who wait.
Josiah, who is now in his terrible twos, has inherited his dad's patience, or lack of. When he's hungry he'll say "banana" or "apple" and both need to be peeled or cut. So when he asks for it, I get it and I start to cut or peel it. Josiah can't wait for that. He decides to go on the floor, scream and cry and kick, and then go in time out for 10 minutes until he stops crying, and then he will get the food. Essentially, if he just waited 2 minutes, he would get what he asked for, but instead he chooses to wait 15. He saw the food, he wanted it. How is he going to eat an unpeeled banana? Even gorillas peel their bananas!
We don't get everything we want right away, and that's what most of the world needs to learn. Impatient people who don't have money, rob the bank, or go into debt maxing out credit cards. Why go broke when you could just wait, earn the money, save the money and then go buy what you need. Life is a waiting game and a lot of people lose.
A plant takes time to grow, babies take time to grow. Why are we fast forwarding life? Enjoy the now, and trust God with the future. Wait for God to make His plans for you. Wait for Him to show you what He wants you to do in life. Don't rush anything.
I was looking up verses on "waiting" in the Bible and I came across this Bible Study about patience and waiting.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/biblestudies/articles/theology/081112.html?start=1
It's called "The Secret of Waiting" and it gives reasons on why we should wait and how we should wait on God.
"Waiting on God may be the most difficult of all the spiritual disciplines, and perhaps that's the reason so few truly practice it. Just sitting in his presence and gazing … it can be agonizing to us who have become accustomed to being bombarded with data and stimuli. We lack the attention span to wait on God. But he knows that, so in his kindness he designs scenarios that will help us learn how to wait on him. Once we press through and cross the boredom threshold, we open to the joys and adventures of waiting on God."
I think that this is difficult for today's generation because of all the technology around us. It is agonizing to wait, for anything! I pray, that for myself and my family, we all learn the power or patience in all things we do.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Final Sale, No Returns or Refunds.
It's been a while since I've blogged. It's been awhile since I've had my own thoughts. I think that over the past year of not blogging my brain has filled up with random thoughts that people following me on twitter are sick of me clogging their newsfeed. Henceforth, I have decided to brain splart all over my blog.
Why has it been awhile? 1 kid is tough, 2 kids is toughest. The transition from one to two kids brings A LOT of responsibility, takes up double the amount of time, it is very tiring and stressful and just wears me down. I am so tired. I have not done anything for myself in a while. With just Josiah, it was easier because I would only have to keep an eye on one child and when Josiah was napping I would have my own time to do what I want. But with two, they don't nap at the same time and sometimes they both always want my attention and that's hard. Yes, I have two eyes, but I'm not a bird or lizard, I can only look in one direction.
It's weird because after I had Mateo (my second boy) it's like my "mommy instincts" doubled. Even though I'm watching one, I know what Josiah is doing even when he's not in the room. I have been blessed with an independent first born. Josiah likes to play by himself, and I'm glad, because I can focus on Mateo. Unfortunately, Josiah is in his terrible twos, and it really is terrible. This stage wears you down like crazy. It's super hard, his tantrums. If you think it's bad when they're 1, just wait until they turn 2. Now with 1 child at 2 years old and a newborn, I don't know what I was thinking. Life is hard. Don't think you can handle it without the grace of God because without God, I wouldn't survive each day. There are days when I am so overwhelmed I just want to cry and cry. And it won't get any better. When Joba is 3 apparently it gets worse, and just wait until he can really talk back. Oh man. Kids, there really isn't a return policy or refund.
Why has it been awhile? 1 kid is tough, 2 kids is toughest. The transition from one to two kids brings A LOT of responsibility, takes up double the amount of time, it is very tiring and stressful and just wears me down. I am so tired. I have not done anything for myself in a while. With just Josiah, it was easier because I would only have to keep an eye on one child and when Josiah was napping I would have my own time to do what I want. But with two, they don't nap at the same time and sometimes they both always want my attention and that's hard. Yes, I have two eyes, but I'm not a bird or lizard, I can only look in one direction.
It's weird because after I had Mateo (my second boy) it's like my "mommy instincts" doubled. Even though I'm watching one, I know what Josiah is doing even when he's not in the room. I have been blessed with an independent first born. Josiah likes to play by himself, and I'm glad, because I can focus on Mateo. Unfortunately, Josiah is in his terrible twos, and it really is terrible. This stage wears you down like crazy. It's super hard, his tantrums. If you think it's bad when they're 1, just wait until they turn 2. Now with 1 child at 2 years old and a newborn, I don't know what I was thinking. Life is hard. Don't think you can handle it without the grace of God because without God, I wouldn't survive each day. There are days when I am so overwhelmed I just want to cry and cry. And it won't get any better. When Joba is 3 apparently it gets worse, and just wait until he can really talk back. Oh man. Kids, there really isn't a return policy or refund.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
