I was going to originally write a blog about life as a busy mom, student, worker etc. but that's all old news. Apparently I'm old news because when I go to school everyone is younger than me and I realized that those younger than me have been raised in a different place than where I grew up. Through this I have learned to appreciate what I didn't appreciate when I was younger: my youth group, my youth pastor, and my sister, and my parents, and my cousins. Without these people in my life, I wouldn't be who I am today: Awesome sauce!! Haha, just kidding...about the conceited awesome sauce comment that is, and not the people.
I feel like this generation maybe doesn't have the youth group strictness, the older sister strictness, the older cousin and parents strictness. I feel like my generation in a way has given up on the whole role model aspect of our lives and we have left the younger generation to fend for themselves. We have the mentality that we made our mistakes and let them make theirs, but there is no guidance. This has been bothering me for quite some time because I have made many mistakes in my life, but really haven't tried to tell anyone younger than me how hard it is to deal with the consequences. I feel like if there is a way that I can stop anyone from making the same mistakes that I did then I wouldn't feel so bad, but because I didn't tell anyone then I feel guilty if someone does make the same mistakes I did. That's a very complicated sentence, as it is that complicated in my brain. My sister says that I'm paranoid crazy, I think that I feel guilty too much for everything bad that happens in the world........but then again, maybe I should feel guilty because here I am watching people do horrible things and what am I doing to stop it?
I feel like I'm not doing enough to contribute to the world of teenage girls with many insecurities who find themselves searching for fulfilment in the wrong things. I wish that I could be the older sister to someone like my sister was to me. I just want to feed the world, tuppins a bag (inside joke between my brain and I, we like to make Mary Poppins references once in a while to each other).
I would also like to learn how to ride a bike, for the main purpose of joining some sort of charity and riding in a marathon to raise money. I think that for the last couple of months I've been focusing on myself and my school work and my family that I feel like I'm not doing enough to contribute to the world and it's many insufficiencies (I don't even really know what that word means but it sounds like it fits, no?).
Also, I have realized that because I have been only focusing on me and my family, I haven't socialized with people who haven't yet adjusted to my oddities. By attempting to talk to people I don't really know, I have realized that my social awkwardness has increased by a thousand percent. It's grown so much so that I slowly start to hyperventilate as my husband and I drive up to a social event. Even after we left my nephew's birthday party I started to re-evaluate the conversations I had and became to feel embarrassed about what I said and wondered if what I was saying was rude or highly inappropriate and wonder if I offended anyone.
What was I writing about again?
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
It's a New Year, No duhhh
Well, I guess it's time for that usual new year blog. A reflection on 2011. What did I learn? I learned many things, but the main thing that I learned was how much of an impact sacrifice has made on my life. Sacrifice, to me, is giving up the things that you want and need, giving up all of your own desires and selfishness for someone or something.
In 2011 Josiah turned 2 years old, and I also had Mateo. One child is a lot, two is too much. With one child I was still able to do all of the things that I wanted to do, like go out to the mall, go for a walk around the block, eat out at a restaurant. We were able to be Mari and Joel + 1. With two kids it is a whole different ball game. Literally, it's the difference between baseball and basketball. Totally, totally different. I can't go to the mall by myself, or go eat out at a restaurant, or even go for a walk around the block. With Josiah and his tantrums, and Mateo being so dependent on me for everything, it makes doing anything for myself nearly impossible. When I was on maternity leave, I couldn't do anything until Joel got home. I couldn't even shower until Joel got home from work. And Joel worked 7:30am to 9:30 pm so it was basically me watching the kids ALL day. And then I still had to have dinner made by the time Joel got home. So it was very hard for me to do anything. Keep the house clean, breastfeed, feed Josiah, watch Mateo. It got even harder when Mateo started crawling. There were times that I would find him playing with the toilet water, and there would be times that he would be randomly chewing on something. I think I found a dime in his mouth once. It's hard with two children. A lot of the time I didn't feel like I was me anymore. I felt like I was just the mother of two. I had lost my identity. That's something I had to sacrifice. I had to sacrifice myself for my children. Not literally, but emotionally, mentally and physically I had to change myself to understand that I wasn't just Mari anymore. I am a mother. Mother Mari.
Emotionally I had to change my concept of feelings. I couldn't show any emotion of fear or sadness because Josiah would lose his confidence in me, as a mom Josiah has to believe I'm brave and strong and fearless. I remember one time I stubbed my toe on a chair and I started crying because it hurt so much and I looked over at Josiah and he had tears in his eyes. He was scared and worried and afraid. I had to comfort him for like, a half hour because he was so traumatized that he saw me crying. Ask yourself, how painful is it for you when you see your mom or dad cry. It rocks your world because to you your parents are the strongest people in the world, they are supposed to take care of you, not you take care of them.
Mentally, I had to alter my concept of thinking. I remember browsing Facebook and seeing how everyone would go out to parties, or go eat out at restaurants, or just hang out at someone's house. When I first had Mateo, Joel and I tried taking them out to people's houses. It was hard. Packing the bag, dressing the kids, Josiah's tantrums, getting them in the car, getting them out of the car. It would take us almost an hour just to get them ready AND ourselves too. It's such a hassle that if we could avoid it, we do. Mentally, I had to realize that I can't do that anymore. I can't go out, hang out with my friends, or do anything with them. If I wanted to go out, I would have to find a baby sitter, schedule the date according to Joel's work schedule, it was just nearly impossible. Even for work events, all of the people, or almost all of the people I work with are single and free. I'm married with two kids. My mentality is different. They only have to think and care about themselves and worry about themselves. I have to think and care about two kids and a husband. Worry about what they're doing, if we have enough food, what to make for dinner, about their sicknesses and their general well being. I had to alter my mindset from being Mari, to being Mother Mari. I am not me, or the me that I was or thought I was or wanted to be. I am the me that God made me to be.
Physically, I am exhausted. Two kids is definitely exhausting. One two year old that runs around everywhere, cries a lot, is very picky with food, and another who is crawling around, shoving everything into his mouth. Being a mother of two is absolutely exhausting. I can very rarely sit down and just relax. Especially now since they're turning 3 and 1. It's tiring. Now that I'm in school, and work, and being a mother of two and a wife to obviously 1, it's extremely physically draining. By 9:00 I just want to sit down. How am I going to study, and watch the kids, and cook dinner? I have no idea. I depend wholly on the strength that God gives me.
By knowing that God is in control of my life, I am able to live through every day. I depend solely on the verse saying that God only gives me what I can handle. Throughout 2011 Me and Joel have sacrificed ourselves, our lives and our friends, for our family. God has changed us 100% to view our lives as parents and not as individuals. Nothing else matters except that our children are healthy and happy. So yes, I have sacrificed my individual self for my children and my family, but I like the new me that God has changed me into. I am not me, I am what He has made me to be.
In 2011 Josiah turned 2 years old, and I also had Mateo. One child is a lot, two is too much. With one child I was still able to do all of the things that I wanted to do, like go out to the mall, go for a walk around the block, eat out at a restaurant. We were able to be Mari and Joel + 1. With two kids it is a whole different ball game. Literally, it's the difference between baseball and basketball. Totally, totally different. I can't go to the mall by myself, or go eat out at a restaurant, or even go for a walk around the block. With Josiah and his tantrums, and Mateo being so dependent on me for everything, it makes doing anything for myself nearly impossible. When I was on maternity leave, I couldn't do anything until Joel got home. I couldn't even shower until Joel got home from work. And Joel worked 7:30am to 9:30 pm so it was basically me watching the kids ALL day. And then I still had to have dinner made by the time Joel got home. So it was very hard for me to do anything. Keep the house clean, breastfeed, feed Josiah, watch Mateo. It got even harder when Mateo started crawling. There were times that I would find him playing with the toilet water, and there would be times that he would be randomly chewing on something. I think I found a dime in his mouth once. It's hard with two children. A lot of the time I didn't feel like I was me anymore. I felt like I was just the mother of two. I had lost my identity. That's something I had to sacrifice. I had to sacrifice myself for my children. Not literally, but emotionally, mentally and physically I had to change myself to understand that I wasn't just Mari anymore. I am a mother. Mother Mari.
Emotionally I had to change my concept of feelings. I couldn't show any emotion of fear or sadness because Josiah would lose his confidence in me, as a mom Josiah has to believe I'm brave and strong and fearless. I remember one time I stubbed my toe on a chair and I started crying because it hurt so much and I looked over at Josiah and he had tears in his eyes. He was scared and worried and afraid. I had to comfort him for like, a half hour because he was so traumatized that he saw me crying. Ask yourself, how painful is it for you when you see your mom or dad cry. It rocks your world because to you your parents are the strongest people in the world, they are supposed to take care of you, not you take care of them.
Mentally, I had to alter my concept of thinking. I remember browsing Facebook and seeing how everyone would go out to parties, or go eat out at restaurants, or just hang out at someone's house. When I first had Mateo, Joel and I tried taking them out to people's houses. It was hard. Packing the bag, dressing the kids, Josiah's tantrums, getting them in the car, getting them out of the car. It would take us almost an hour just to get them ready AND ourselves too. It's such a hassle that if we could avoid it, we do. Mentally, I had to realize that I can't do that anymore. I can't go out, hang out with my friends, or do anything with them. If I wanted to go out, I would have to find a baby sitter, schedule the date according to Joel's work schedule, it was just nearly impossible. Even for work events, all of the people, or almost all of the people I work with are single and free. I'm married with two kids. My mentality is different. They only have to think and care about themselves and worry about themselves. I have to think and care about two kids and a husband. Worry about what they're doing, if we have enough food, what to make for dinner, about their sicknesses and their general well being. I had to alter my mindset from being Mari, to being Mother Mari. I am not me, or the me that I was or thought I was or wanted to be. I am the me that God made me to be.
Physically, I am exhausted. Two kids is definitely exhausting. One two year old that runs around everywhere, cries a lot, is very picky with food, and another who is crawling around, shoving everything into his mouth. Being a mother of two is absolutely exhausting. I can very rarely sit down and just relax. Especially now since they're turning 3 and 1. It's tiring. Now that I'm in school, and work, and being a mother of two and a wife to obviously 1, it's extremely physically draining. By 9:00 I just want to sit down. How am I going to study, and watch the kids, and cook dinner? I have no idea. I depend wholly on the strength that God gives me.
By knowing that God is in control of my life, I am able to live through every day. I depend solely on the verse saying that God only gives me what I can handle. Throughout 2011 Me and Joel have sacrificed ourselves, our lives and our friends, for our family. God has changed us 100% to view our lives as parents and not as individuals. Nothing else matters except that our children are healthy and happy. So yes, I have sacrificed my individual self for my children and my family, but I like the new me that God has changed me into. I am not me, I am what He has made me to be.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Today was a good day
I stayed home. Joel went to work. It's like everyday, but for some reason today was a good day.
Our fridge is empty, we have no food and no money for food. But today is a good day.
We're eating leftovers and possibly rotten chicken for dinner tonight. But today is a good day.
The house is a mess and I don't feel like cleaning up. But today is a good day.
I'm trying to make Paksiw na lechon and it's more like adobo with sugar. But today is a good day.
Joba spilled his juice all over the floor, and I missed the cup pouring milk and spilled it all over the floor. But today is a good day.
We got a notice that our internet is 75% used up and we will get charged extra if we go over. But today is a good day.
Joba broke over half of his new toys and Teo ate most of his toys. But today is a good day.
Today is a good day because I have a roof over my head, and food (maybe rotten) on the table.
Today is a good day because my kids are smiling and laughing.
Today is a good day because we have heat and electricity.
Today is a good day because we have internet and clothes and shoes.
Today is a good day because we are surrounded by many (broken and not broken) toys.
Today is a good day because I am loved and will always be loved.
Today is a good day because I have a Saviour and He lives.
Our fridge is empty, we have no food and no money for food. But today is a good day.
We're eating leftovers and possibly rotten chicken for dinner tonight. But today is a good day.
The house is a mess and I don't feel like cleaning up. But today is a good day.
I'm trying to make Paksiw na lechon and it's more like adobo with sugar. But today is a good day.
Joba spilled his juice all over the floor, and I missed the cup pouring milk and spilled it all over the floor. But today is a good day.
We got a notice that our internet is 75% used up and we will get charged extra if we go over. But today is a good day.
Joba broke over half of his new toys and Teo ate most of his toys. But today is a good day.
Today is a good day because I have a roof over my head, and food (maybe rotten) on the table.
Today is a good day because my kids are smiling and laughing.
Today is a good day because we have heat and electricity.
Today is a good day because we have internet and clothes and shoes.
Today is a good day because we are surrounded by many (broken and not broken) toys.
Today is a good day because I am loved and will always be loved.
Today is a good day because I have a Saviour and He lives.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
So this is Christmas....
Christmas this year is different, for me at least. For the first time, we have NO money for Christmas presents and our gifts are all provided by Avon. I guess I get some sort of a discount for selling it, but it really isn't much. This year I realized that Christmas in Canada is very materialistic. Well, I knew that, but it never dawned on me until now. People in the malls, in the parking lots, in Wal-Mart, are so rude!! Everyone is in "rush mode." That's not fun for anyone. Joel works at Canadian Tire, and has been for about 2 years, and this year he really doesn't like the Christmas season because of the people. In my little mind, I thought people were supposed to be nicer during the holidays, but maybe things have changed. Maybe everything and everyone is about themselves. Everyone always thinks about the good deals, or all the good sales that come out this season. But, when you don't have any money, you don't really care about the deals or the sales. Christmas is about spending time with family. Thinking about the things that you already have and being grateful for them. On Christmas many kids will be disappointed because maybe their parents didn't buy them what they wanted. Some kids will be ecstatic because "Santa" brought them the new 3DS that they asked for. It does feel good, giving someone something they like and seeing their face light up.
But I wish that all the crabby and "rush mode" people would stop and think about those on the other side of the world that don't even know what Christmas is. They don't have a calendar so they don't even know that it's Christmas time. No one will be there for them to give them presents, no one will be there to buy them food, or clothes. Maybe their homes have been washed away in a landslide or some sort of crazy storm. How many children out there are searching for their mom's and dad's. How many kids have had to become "parents" at the age of 5 by taking care of their 3 year old siblings. There are children all over the world that have to suffer, and cry, and die without their parents. And here we are wasting our money on ourselves and complaining because of slow service, or because the item is out of stock when on the internet it said it was in stock. How selfish are we? How many times have I walked by the Salvation army person smiling to them, saying in my head "I don't have change" yet I'm walking into a Wal-Mart and leaving with toy Nerf guns for the kiddos. I'm not saying that I'm better than all the selfish westerners, I'm saying that I am one of those people and have been in a "rush mode" for all the past years. I have been selfish and never really stopped to think about people on the other side of the world. Now, I am. And I hope everyone else will stop and think and pray this Christmas for those on the other side of the world struggling for survival. Struggling to take care of their children, struggling to keep sanitary food on a non existent table. I hope everyone in the western world will stop before eating their massive meals and say a prayer for those who eat garbage every day of the year. I hope that this side of the world will be thankful for what they have and not whine about what they don't have.
I pray that this side of the world will change and realize what Christmas is about. Jesus, our King, was born in a manger. He was born in a barn because no one wanted to house him. He was born in a barn surrounded by animals and hay. Christmas is about Christ. It is about remembering who we are as Christians and for being thankful for what Jesus has done for us. Being thankful that God gave us His son to save us. I think we should all remember Jesus on Christmas. And as we remember Jesus, we should remember what He did on this earth. He not only saved us from eternal hell. He helped feed the needy, He healed the sick, and He dined with those that people would call unworthy. Jesus is Lord, and He did all that while He was on earth. We are nowhere near being "lords" or "kings" and yet we won't even spend some time with the poor or needy, or even give our spare change. Shame on us. Shame on me. Let's all remember what Christmas is about, and even if we can't give any change or gifts, or our time to those who need it, let's give our prayers and our thoughts to those who are less fortunate this Christmas season. That's all I ask.
With love on this Christmas Eve,
Mari
But I wish that all the crabby and "rush mode" people would stop and think about those on the other side of the world that don't even know what Christmas is. They don't have a calendar so they don't even know that it's Christmas time. No one will be there for them to give them presents, no one will be there to buy them food, or clothes. Maybe their homes have been washed away in a landslide or some sort of crazy storm. How many children out there are searching for their mom's and dad's. How many kids have had to become "parents" at the age of 5 by taking care of their 3 year old siblings. There are children all over the world that have to suffer, and cry, and die without their parents. And here we are wasting our money on ourselves and complaining because of slow service, or because the item is out of stock when on the internet it said it was in stock. How selfish are we? How many times have I walked by the Salvation army person smiling to them, saying in my head "I don't have change" yet I'm walking into a Wal-Mart and leaving with toy Nerf guns for the kiddos. I'm not saying that I'm better than all the selfish westerners, I'm saying that I am one of those people and have been in a "rush mode" for all the past years. I have been selfish and never really stopped to think about people on the other side of the world. Now, I am. And I hope everyone else will stop and think and pray this Christmas for those on the other side of the world struggling for survival. Struggling to take care of their children, struggling to keep sanitary food on a non existent table. I hope everyone in the western world will stop before eating their massive meals and say a prayer for those who eat garbage every day of the year. I hope that this side of the world will be thankful for what they have and not whine about what they don't have.
I pray that this side of the world will change and realize what Christmas is about. Jesus, our King, was born in a manger. He was born in a barn because no one wanted to house him. He was born in a barn surrounded by animals and hay. Christmas is about Christ. It is about remembering who we are as Christians and for being thankful for what Jesus has done for us. Being thankful that God gave us His son to save us. I think we should all remember Jesus on Christmas. And as we remember Jesus, we should remember what He did on this earth. He not only saved us from eternal hell. He helped feed the needy, He healed the sick, and He dined with those that people would call unworthy. Jesus is Lord, and He did all that while He was on earth. We are nowhere near being "lords" or "kings" and yet we won't even spend some time with the poor or needy, or even give our spare change. Shame on us. Shame on me. Let's all remember what Christmas is about, and even if we can't give any change or gifts, or our time to those who need it, let's give our prayers and our thoughts to those who are less fortunate this Christmas season. That's all I ask.
With love on this Christmas Eve,
Mari
Saturday, November 19, 2011
I'm All Tired Out
I don't think I've ever been this tired in my life. I'm exhausted. I work basically 5 days a week. On the days that I'm off, I work from home. On the days that I work at work, I come home and feel completely drained and I still have to clean, cook and put the kiddos to bed. By the time I get to sleep it's around 11:30 and then I have to wake up at 1:00am, 3:00am and 5:00am to feed or comfort a crying Teo who we're trying to get to sleep straight in his crib. Even if I were to sleep with him in our bed he would be rolling and kicking me in the stomach or head or face. It's a lose-lose situation every night. And on the sad side, I work when Joel is off, and when Joel works I'm off. So I get to spend about 2 hours every night with my husband, and every other weekend we have with the kids. It's a busy life, and November is flying by. This week both kids are sick. Teo is teething and Joba has a runny nose, which makes them both incredibly cranky and clingy. It's very frustrating and exhausting and tiring and stressful and I just want to sleep!!!
I guess the moral of the story is two kids are extremely tiring, but I'm still getting by. Each day comes and goes and I'm still standing. God gives me strength every day to handle all the tantrums and when He knows that I'm reaching my breaking point the kids are quiet and calm and give me time to nap or recuperate from the previous tantrum day.
Troubles and hard times are always there. Exhausting and stressful days are always there, and the only way to avoid them is to not let them get the better of you. Ask God throughout your day for help. Ask Him for strength and guidance and patience. Don't take all your stresses out on anyone else because you cause your own stress. The only thing that will take away your stress and exhaustion is God, so ask Him for help. Have faith that He is in control and He is always watching and is always there willing and waiting for you to ask Him for help and guidance. You are never alone in this world. You're not the only one experiencing pain, sorrow, stress, exhaustion. God is there, watching and waiting for you to just ask.
I guess the moral of the story is two kids are extremely tiring, but I'm still getting by. Each day comes and goes and I'm still standing. God gives me strength every day to handle all the tantrums and when He knows that I'm reaching my breaking point the kids are quiet and calm and give me time to nap or recuperate from the previous tantrum day.
Troubles and hard times are always there. Exhausting and stressful days are always there, and the only way to avoid them is to not let them get the better of you. Ask God throughout your day for help. Ask Him for strength and guidance and patience. Don't take all your stresses out on anyone else because you cause your own stress. The only thing that will take away your stress and exhaustion is God, so ask Him for help. Have faith that He is in control and He is always watching and is always there willing and waiting for you to ask Him for help and guidance. You are never alone in this world. You're not the only one experiencing pain, sorrow, stress, exhaustion. God is there, watching and waiting for you to just ask.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Life is Never too Hard
Well, this week I started my new job. It's AMAZING!!! I really like it. Everyone is about my age and friendly. They have lunch every Friday and it's a wonderful work environment. I am hoping to do well and be able to keep this job for a while.
Unfortunately, I just realized that EI deducts dollar for dollar if I earn more than 25% of my mat leave earnings, which is $124. So there's basically no reason for me working. Woo. I also just called the Region of Peel and asked for the status of my subsidy and when I would be getting it. She said probably 2013, the waiting list is just growing and there is no funding and hasn't been funding since August 2010. So, they're at a stand still. That also sucks for me because I can't afford childcare and I'm going to school in January.
Right now I feel like I'm walking around with a blindfold over my eyes. We have no plan, no money and just, nothing to work with. Joel and I have to make decisions based on what's best for our children, but we can't make decisions because we don't know how we're going to go on. We're working with nothing right now, as in no money. Even if I were to work full time I would still have to find a daycare for both children. If I went to school and worked part time, I would still have to find a daycare for both children. No matter what, we need someone to watch the kids starting January.
So, Joel and I are going to continue doing what we've been doing. Have faith that God will take care of us and that He will give us some sort of direction in what we're supposed to do and where the kids are going to go. Something will come up. It's just hard to walk around blindly not knowing what's going to happen in the next few months. I like a plan. I like to know and when I know I feel safe that I know what's going to happen. I feel like God is training me to trust in Him more and to rely on Him to make decisions for us. It's hard, but life is never too hard because God doesn't put us through what we can't handle. So I'm going to try and calm my nerves and stress and trust that God knows what will happen and where my family will go from here. To truly put all of our lives in His hands is what we need to learn, and in a crazy sort of way I'm glad that we're going through this because at least we are reminded of who really is in control of our lives.
Unfortunately, I just realized that EI deducts dollar for dollar if I earn more than 25% of my mat leave earnings, which is $124. So there's basically no reason for me working. Woo. I also just called the Region of Peel and asked for the status of my subsidy and when I would be getting it. She said probably 2013, the waiting list is just growing and there is no funding and hasn't been funding since August 2010. So, they're at a stand still. That also sucks for me because I can't afford childcare and I'm going to school in January.
Right now I feel like I'm walking around with a blindfold over my eyes. We have no plan, no money and just, nothing to work with. Joel and I have to make decisions based on what's best for our children, but we can't make decisions because we don't know how we're going to go on. We're working with nothing right now, as in no money. Even if I were to work full time I would still have to find a daycare for both children. If I went to school and worked part time, I would still have to find a daycare for both children. No matter what, we need someone to watch the kids starting January.
So, Joel and I are going to continue doing what we've been doing. Have faith that God will take care of us and that He will give us some sort of direction in what we're supposed to do and where the kids are going to go. Something will come up. It's just hard to walk around blindly not knowing what's going to happen in the next few months. I like a plan. I like to know and when I know I feel safe that I know what's going to happen. I feel like God is training me to trust in Him more and to rely on Him to make decisions for us. It's hard, but life is never too hard because God doesn't put us through what we can't handle. So I'm going to try and calm my nerves and stress and trust that God knows what will happen and where my family will go from here. To truly put all of our lives in His hands is what we need to learn, and in a crazy sort of way I'm glad that we're going through this because at least we are reminded of who really is in control of our lives.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Holidays
Holidays. I used to love them as a kid. I want my kids to love them too. I want my kids to have the same traditions that I had when I was a kid. Holidays were always family oriented. We would stay with my cousins and play games and such and I want Joba and Teo to play with their cousins too. I want them to enjoy holidays. But today, this thanksgiving, was very hard for me. It was the first thanksgiving without my sister and I never ended a holiday so down. I don't know why. But I feel so down right now. Maybe it's the random "you got very wide" comments and everyone laughing, or the making fun of Josiah's habits that got me a little bothered but I think that if my super sister were there she would make everything okay. Or maybe I'm just a little over sensitive about everything because I have had very little sleep in the last week because Mateo's teething. Today was a miserable holiday and I feel down.
Either way, it is a day to give thanks, so I do give thanks to God for my wonderful hubs who always tries to save me from my self pity hole. I am thankful for my beautiful children who look at me with such wonderful smiles of love and trust. I am thankful for having a roof over my head and I am thankful for being able to just about afford the roof and the food that we made today.
I say this a lot but life is hard and it is definitely not predictable. Bad days happen. Bad holidays will come. I believe that if life were easy and things always went our way then we would never grow as people. The way that bad days are handled helps build character. That doesn't make sense. Let me explain to no one, but if someone does ever read my blogs, let me explain my nonsense. If you were at the grocery store and some guy shoved you and made you drop your groceries, how you handle it represents your character and who you are as a person. So if it happened one time and you yelled at the person only to realize that he was walking with a broken leg and didn't actually mean to push you, and you felt bad for yelling at him, the next time it happens you know not to get so mad so fast and you know to assess the situation before jumping to anger. Hence, the growth of character. See? See? So, bad days happen, bad holidays come, but the next time I get called "wide" or someone makes fun of joba, I know what to do, what to say or what not to say and I'll just exercise more until next holiday comes. Then they can comment on my non-wide-ness, or sliminity?
Either way, it is a day to give thanks, so I do give thanks to God for my wonderful hubs who always tries to save me from my self pity hole. I am thankful for my beautiful children who look at me with such wonderful smiles of love and trust. I am thankful for having a roof over my head and I am thankful for being able to just about afford the roof and the food that we made today.
I say this a lot but life is hard and it is definitely not predictable. Bad days happen. Bad holidays will come. I believe that if life were easy and things always went our way then we would never grow as people. The way that bad days are handled helps build character. That doesn't make sense. Let me explain to no one, but if someone does ever read my blogs, let me explain my nonsense. If you were at the grocery store and some guy shoved you and made you drop your groceries, how you handle it represents your character and who you are as a person. So if it happened one time and you yelled at the person only to realize that he was walking with a broken leg and didn't actually mean to push you, and you felt bad for yelling at him, the next time it happens you know not to get so mad so fast and you know to assess the situation before jumping to anger. Hence, the growth of character. See? See? So, bad days happen, bad holidays come, but the next time I get called "wide" or someone makes fun of joba, I know what to do, what to say or what not to say and I'll just exercise more until next holiday comes. Then they can comment on my non-wide-ness, or sliminity?
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