The Hulk Loses in Me

What fuels your anger?

I've never read a book about controlling your anger. I've never take classes and I've never been to therapy. I just know that some things are worth being mad about and other things just arent worth my time and energy being mad about.

Being a mother of three, it's important to learn how to control your anger and what's worth yelling and not yelling for. I read this article about a kid who was scared of his mom because she just yelled all the time. It was a more in depth story that I probably won't tell properly but it really spoke to me. What kind of mother do I want to be? Do I want to be that mom who nags and yells all the time or do I want to be that calm, kind and loving mom who shows compassion and caring for everything. How do I want my kids to remember me when I die or when they get older? How do I want the world to remember me when I die?

You also have to keep in mind that anger doesn't just affect you. It affects everyone around you as well. Anger is a very selfish emotion. It sucks the happiness out of yourself and everyone around you. Do you really want to do that? Is what you're about to be angry about worth making everyone else around you and yourself miserable? Do you really want to ruin everyone else's time and day?

When I got married someone gave me the advice "pick your battles." I use that advice for my anger as well. Is this worth being angry for? I'm not going to let my anger win this battle. I pick my battles. I'm not going to let my anger control me. I stay in charge of my anger and most things aren't even worth getting angry for if you think about it.

That doesn't mean I don't care or that I choose to make others mad on purpose. Even though that's what it may look like to others, it's not. I just choose to stay positive. I choose to stay in my mental happiness because what you're getting mad over is something that I don't think is worth the time, the energy or sucking the happiness out of everyone around me for. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I feel that staying calm and dealing with the situation in a more rational and happier manner is better than the way your anger is dealing with it now.

So yes. I care that you're mad. But I just choose to deal with it in a better way.

So what makes me mad then? What's worth being angry for? I refuse to get mad for anything materialistic. So if I lose an item, if my kids break my phone, if my wallet gets lost - all that is replaceable and there are better ways of dealing with that situation than anger. Now, if someone is hurting my family. If someone hit my dog or attacked my kids. If someone was driving drunk and hit my car and my family was hurt. Those are all situations that would trigger the hulk inside of me. Im a mom. I love my family and will fight for them with every bone in my body. Anything else is materialistic and replaceable. I choose to value and treasure my relationships than to let anger control me. Don't get me wrong. I get annoyed a lot. But I don't get mad like I used to.

By the grace of God. This is who I have grown to be. This is what He has taught me. And this is why I am the way I am today. I haven't always been like this but I've been through so much in life, that I choose to let go and let God be in me and live through me.

Life is hard if you choose to make it that way. I choose God.