Life isn't easy.  No one ever said it would be.  I've been so busy lately, even with school done, there's a lot of work to be done too.  I have had to focus more on my family lately and just drown myself in the joys of having kids and a husband.  I just love to be loved and it's a nice feeling to be loved.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it takes to be a good mother and a good wife.  My expertise in these two areas have been questionable.  I think at times I have lost focus on my family because I have been submersed in school work, exams, and school.  Now that school is finished, I am able to focus on my family and what is really important in life.  I have completed a huge milestone in my life, graduating, but I think that I maybe lost focus on really enjoying the blessings of being a mother and a wife.

Being a mom takes a lot of sacrifice.  Life isn't about me anymore, I never really get to do things for myself.  Every single decision affects my family and my children.  I need to think about them in every decision that I make because they don't have minds to think for themselves.

Josiah is 4 now, and he's starting school in September.  He's so big and is a great help, when he's in a good mood.  He puts his shoes and jacket away, cleans his table after he eats, picks up his toys and puts them away at night, and even tells us when his little brother pukes or makes a mess.  He's a little tattle tale, but that's okay, because I prefer that sometimes.  He also never lies.  If he does something wrong he says "I did it" even though he knows he might get in trouble.  A lot of the times he says "Teo made a mess" and that's okay too.  He's a very smart boy and I'm so proud of him because he is so kind and friendly and loving and independent.

Mateo is 2 years old.  He is a little bundle of trouble.  He likes to climb, he likes to pour water on the table and play with it.  He likes to cry and pukes a lot.  He eats anything he sees, and likes to just play with everything.  Mateo is a joy.  He also loves to be loved like I do.  He loves to be hugged and he hates getting in trouble.  He has to know that everything is okay even after he makes a big mess.  He needs to know that I still love him no matter what.  He is so precious and is hard to get mad at because he just looks at you with those big eyes and you know that he just wants a big hug.  He is always smiling and brings joy to anyone around him.  It's the saddest thing when he's sad.

Those are my kids.  I love them oh so much and I am so proud to be a mother to them.  It takes a lot of patience, and it takes a lot of love to be a mom.  Sometimes I get so overwhelmed and tired that I forget the joys and blessings of being a mom.  My kids are so precious to me and I will always love them.

Being a wife is even harder.  As a wife you have to have a lot of patience too.  And even more love.  I love my husband more than I love a lot of people.  Most people.  I didn't know how much I loved or how much I could love until I met my husband.  Every day I'm reminded of how perfect we are together.  We are opposites on most interests and sometimes that scares me, but I also find that life is more interesting when the person you are with knows a lot of different things than you do.  Joel can talk about cars all the days of his life.  He knows the ins and outs of cars.  He works with them everyday, even on his days off he's at his work, working on cars.  It's beyond a hobby to him, it's his lifestyle.  At first I found this a bit boring and a bit annoying, but now I admire him for having that ability to know so much about a box on wheels.  To me a car is a car, but to him a car isn't just a car, it's a lot more than that.  I have learned to love cars because he loves cars.  I love what he loves, and even though I have no idea what he's saying sometimes, I can see the excitement in his eyes when he talks about cars and that makes me happy to know that he's happy.

I don't have very many hobbies.  Harry Potter, Vampire Diaries, Hunger Games, The Food Network, Joel probably isn't as interested in those things as I am but he has managed to display some sort of interest in all those things.  He's watched Harry Potter and The Hunger Games with me, we watch the Food Network together.  It's nice to know that he cares enough about me to struggle through watching the Vampire Diaries too.

Marriage isn't always easy, but it takes a lot of sacrifice on both ends to just make each other happy.  Sometimes we forget that.  Life isn't about us, it was never meant to be like that.  What I've learned so far this year is that life isn't about me.  It's not about you or anyone else.  Life is about serving others, serving God and just doing the best we can to make other people happy.  That's where I find my happiness.  Knowing that the way I am, who I am, what I do, makes other people happy.  So even though at times I feel like I've lost my identity, and I can't do anything for myself anymore, I remind myself that my life isn't about me, I'm made to serve God, I'm made to love God and love others.  Love is selfless.

When I forget who I'm supposed to be as a wife and mother, I'm reminded of these verses:

Proverbs 31:10-31

New Living Translation (NLT)

A Wife of Noble Character

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?

    She is more precious than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

¹³ She finds wool and flax
    and busily spins it.
¹⁴ She is like a merchant’s ship,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

¹⁶ She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She is energetic and strong,
    a hard worker.
¹⁸ She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
    her lamp burns late into the night.

¹⁹ Her hands are busy spinning thread,
    her fingers twisting fiber.
²⁰ She extends a helping hand to the poor
    and opens her arms to the needy.
²¹ She has no fear of winter for her household,
    for everyone has warm^[b] clothes.

²² She makes her own bedspreads.
    She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
²³ Her husband is well known at the city gates,
    where he sits with the other civic leaders.
²⁴ She makes belted linen garments
    and sashes to sell to the merchants.

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
²⁶ When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
²⁷ She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.

²⁸ Her children stand and bless her.
    Her husband praises her:
²⁹ “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
    but you surpass them all!”

³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
³¹ Reward her for all she has done.
    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Lesson learned of the day?  Work hard, serve others, show love to others so that they can see the love of Christ through you.