The Boy Girl Dilemma

The question is..........Can a boy and a girl be best friends?

Many people try this and for some it works out. In my opinion, it doesn't. Why, you ask?

There is an emotional attachment. Girls, who are you trying to fool? You try convincing yourself that he's just your best friend, you constantly tell him that you guys are just best friends, but come on. You like him and you're afraid to get hurt or you don't want to be in a relationship until your older. Well wake up, you will get hurt and you're already in a relationship. It's the emotional attachment. Ask yourself this. If he started dating someone would you be jealous? Would you get hurt? If you started dating someone, would he be jealous or hurt? If the answer is yes to both questions then you guys are emotionally attached to each other and calling yourselves best friends is not helping the situation.

You guys like each other so deal with it. If you guys have an agreement that you'll go out with each other when you're 18, then fine BUT don't be jealous when he talks to other girls or goes out with other girls. Don't treat each other like you guys are dating, and don't be all possessive. He's not yours to claim, you guys are not going out. Do you guys kiss? Do you guys hold hands? Well if you do, ask yourself this, with your girl best friends, do you guys do the same thing? Do you kiss and hold hands with your girl friends? EW if you do.

Holding hands and kissing should be saved for you and your boyfriend. If you guys aren't dating then that's just weird. If your going to call each other best friends, then act like best friends. Don't call each other best friends and treat each other like you are boyfriend and girlfriend. Why?

Ask yourself this: What's the difference between boyfriend and girlfriend and being best friends? The difference is the emotional attachment. When you have a boyfriend, you guys agree that you will not be dating anyone else but each other. You agree that the relationship goal is marriage (because that's what dating is -you date to marry). If you're not ready to think of marriage, then don't date boys or call them your boyfriend. If you want to hang out with this guy because you think he's fun, then go out with a group of friends. One on one time with a boy is more than dangerous. Avoid situations like that because temptation is everywhere.

Being best friends with a boy does not include emotional attachment. If he likes a girl, you support him and you tell him if she's good for him or not. You help him out in relationships with other girls if he wants a relationship with another girl. You will be okay to meet his girlfriend and befriend her. You won't be jealous or possessive. You will support other relationships. If he's in love with another girl, you support him. If he's dating a girl that's no good for him, you tell him. Be a best friend, NOT a girlfriend.

If you find that your relationship with your guy best friend is bordering between dating or being friends then talk to him, ask him what's going on with you two and then come up with an agreement. Keep in mind, dating is for marriage, if you're not ready for marriage, then stay best friends, but stray away from the emotional attachment. If you like him, hang out with him, but IN A GROUP.

Phone conversations are deadly. Fine, talk to him if he's your best friend, but watch your motives and most importantly Guard your heart. If you find yourself slowly falling in love with your best friend because you have so many phone conversations and you know so much about him and he knows so much about you. Guard your heart. You guys find it easy to talk to each other. You can tell him stuff that you've never told anyone and you feel so comfortable talking to him on the phone, Watch out, guard your heart. If you know the person on the other end doesn't feel the same way about you, then what's the point. Why invest so much time on the phone when you know that the relationship is not headed toward the same goal as you. Remember, dating is for marriage. You like this guy so much, but does he even think of you in the same way? Your investing so much of your heart in this guy, but he doesn't even think of you that way. You're in love with a wall.

I know, I know. He's the only person that will listen to you. He's the only person that will understand you. You guys are best friends. Okay. Are you in love with him? Is he in love with you? If the answer is yes to both then talk to each other about the future. Talk to each other about dating if you see a marriage in the works. If you're in love with him and he only thinks of you as a best friend, that's when the shields go up. Guard your heart. Let God and Let Go. Let God take control, and let go of your feelings. It's not easy, but with all your faith in the Lord, anything can happen. Faith can move mountains, surely it can help you get over this guy. I always say, if he's the one, then God will bring him back to you.

Why invest so much time in this one guy when God could be showing you your true love. You're so focused on this one guy and you could be ignoring THE ONE that God made for you. Remember, always pray for your future husband, if marriage is meant for you. When they say Give everything to God, they literally mean give EVERYTHING to God. All your friendships, all your stresses, all your loves. Everything, Give it to God and He will take care of you.

God knows all of you. He knows all of your secrets, and all of your lies. He knows all of your shames and all your disguises. He knows who you truly are. No guy best friend can take this away from you. It may be so easy to talk to your guy best friend on the phone. It may be so easy because he listens and he understands you. But always know, that God knows all of you, he knows your past, and your future. He knows what you're going to say before you say it. He knows who you will marry, and who will break your heart. He knows the choices you will make and he knows the mistakes that you've made. Before investing so much of your life into this one guy who is your "best friend" make God your best friend first. HE will never ever let you down or break your heart. HE is the only one who truly knows how to HEAL your broken heart.

This guy, your best friend. Is he truly your best friend? Or is he something more?

The Boy Girl Dilemma.